Please Take Me Away Without Question.

No safety
No stability
No support

Not a soul in sight
Offers her hand
When it’s her last hand left

You just don’t understand
You can’t even understand that

Everything leads back
To the dizziness
I feel when thinking about
How messed up my situation is

No hand to guide me
No study partner
No one motivating me
No love
No understanding
And I make up for all of it
By supplying myself with all of it

It doesn’t always work
Hell, it never really works
But I can’t confide
I just get shot down

I am so easy to break
I put up walls to save myself
But they just push me further
Like a bulldozer

Don’t you ever
Dare compare
Me to the one who broke me

Don’t ask if I’m okay
I can’t answer that
I can’t remember not feeling this way
Or why
Or how I’m different now

Nothing seems right
I’m planning my plummet
Curling my fingers
Closing my eyes
Rejecting the factors that overwhelm

You just don’t know.
I can tell you
But I can’t interpret for you

It seems impossible
The way you think
You have it under control
But alas,
You overcome the impossible
And smite me once again

I don’t have any sanity left
I’m just exposed, broken pieces now
No one tries to stitch the pieces
They tell me I can do that myself
God no, I can’t
I’m too weak

This is my white flag
Once again, I wave it
In the smoggy, heated air
Nothing has changed
I’ve just become tired
With that tattered flag held high
Using the only strength I have left
To get my point across

My eyes were bright
My smile, truer
My hair, long and shameless
My clothes, fit
My persona, excited
My friends, ears falling off
My life, simply complicated as ever

None of that is true
It’s all a mask

It’s not that me saying “I’m fine”
Didn’t hurt
But what hurt most
Is that they believed it
And thought I didn’t think
I could die any moment

There’s not enough to write
I can’t think straight
Everything is swaying and dark
I’m breathing thin air constantly

There’s nothing to say
Except, “I don’t want this life.
It scares me.”